Amanda de Cadenet/Harper’s Bazaar

Maybe they’re all secretly getting paid by Dove, but lately, it seems that a growing number of celebs are sick of being retouched by Mr. Adobe.

Claudia Schiffer, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and now Kim Kardashian are getting mad attention for releasing their unaltered photos to the public.

But when it comes to Kim, we’re more shocked on how she managed to get into Harper’s Bazaar. (She better thank her publicist for pulling that one off.)

Paradise

Paradise Lost

No matter what airport you’re at, layovers are icky poo boring. But to my utter surprise, I experienced a major cosmetic pick-me-up when my tired eyes stumbled upon a Sephora vending machine at the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport! Yeee haww! What an ingenious idea!

As I admiringly gazed at the Kinerase, Dr. Perricone, philosophy, Benefit, and Urban Decay products (as if they were my children), I spotted IT: Shu Uemura’s Eyelash Curler! I was sooo due for a replacement and what better time to snag one, all the while experiencing the purchasing process of this new beauty machine!

Oh, but what seemed like technological heaven became tortuous hell!

Imagine the scene in slo-mo:

- My finger pressing the computer touch screen with ease. I smile and nod with satisfaction.

- Nice Computer asks me to swipe my plastic. Silky sound of plastic swiped.

- (drum roll) Suction valve zings over to the Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler…and then…womp womp. The product gets stuck! NOOOOO!!!

My eyelashes fell just a little lower at the sight of this odious transaction gone wrong. Why me?

One good thing, though: The Sephora vending machine has a built in sensor of sorts that realizes when a product doesn’t dispense properly, and since my transaction malfunctioned, Mr. Nice Computer Screen told me that my credit card wouldn’t be charged. Whew!

Conclusion: Fabulous concept, but could you make them smaller so we’re able to wrap our arms around them and give ‘em a good shake when such an action calls (or to give them a hug when it works)?

As most of you probably already know, the FDA doesn’t invest its time regulating personal care products because it doesn’t believe they pose an immediate health risk. In other words, a slow, insidious poisoning of our bodies by the daily onslaught of man-made toxic chemicals hidden away in our body lotions, shampoos, cosmetics, perfumes, and deodorants is permissible.

If we had labels that scored the level of toxicity of our personal care products, my guess is that it’d prompt many of us to make healthier, greener choices and change our buying habits. Jolly good, right? For us, yes. For your collagen-plumping lip gloss company, not so much. Although some beauty companies have responded to consumers’ concerns, the vast majority of the billion-dollar industry has been seemingly reluctant to change, as doing so would require a massive overhaul of its formulations for less harmful ingredients–and lots of moolah coming out of its pocket. Sadly and infuriatingly, in this day and age the bottom line and the status quo muddy the progress towards greater consumer knowledge, choice, and most importantly, health. Sick, isn’t it?

On the bright side, I think the controversy is here to stay until there’s widespread accountability and regulation. Reputable sites like The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and the Environmental Working Group’s cosmetic database are really spreading the word that we don’t want to be guinea pigs to what some critics claim are innocuous ingredients. Hey, I’m all about testings things out but never at the expense of my health.

Meet Parisian parliamentary official Valérie Boyer. The mother of two teenage daughters, Boyer is proposing legislation that requires advertisers to attach a disclaimer on retouched photos. Simply put: Her hope is that such a law will help young women, including her daughters, feel better about themselves and their bodies.

My thoughts? Good intentions, dud idea. I don’t think that placing a Photoshop disclaimer of any sort is going to make a positive impact on a young woman’s psyche–maybe on an intellectual level (like for a second), but ultimately, the image will have a dominating emotional suasion. The way I see it, the image remains digitally altered and the fantasy behind it is still ostensibly laid out for impressionable eyes to see. You know how they say “a picture says a thousand words”? Well, I think it’s safe to say that those “thousand words” will definitely drown out the few words that might make up a disclaimer. Come on, do you think disclaimers work on cigarette ads?

There are legitimate arguments from all sides of the controversy. I just don’t think this latest legislative attempt puts us on the right path toward a viable solution. And to play devil’s advocate, let’s be real: Fashion photography is a subjective art, and fantasy and escapism play an integral role in the genre. Some of us–maybe on a subconscious if not conscious level–want to be captivated by those illusions…so what to do? I don’t know the answer to this complex, pervasive problem, and it’s hard to draw a line on what is permissive to retouch and what isn’t. But maybe the fashion industry should start out by inventing a new, less harmful illusion–and making a point to keep the damn curves on it.

Butt surgery falls into the same extreme realm as breaking your bones to have your legs extended or shaving your jaw because you think it’s too wide. But, surgically adding more junk in your trunk still stands out as the most embarrassing and pathetic–if not laughable way to go…well, BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BUTT.

The manner of the former beauty queen’s death will definitely be fodder for the media and everyday people alike, but in the end, she leaves behind seven-year-old twins who’ll soon ask the question some of us are probably already asking ourselves: Where do our values lie?

Until you can answer that, all you ladies who loathe your flat behinds, here’s my suggestion: lunges, chocolate, therapy. You pick the order. Just no butt implants, please.

But YSL was greedy and curious, and so on a mascara shoot, he discovered a new lean golden tube–but this time with a dark emblem. And YSL liked darkness! He found it very sexy! Her name: Singulier (Angelina). Oh, and she was singulier alright and ready to get her elliptical, multi-dimensional bristles around him for an ‘intense new type of separation.’ And that separation hit the cosmetic world by storm! She promised YSL to be everything that a mascara could be from root to tip–voluminous, lengthening, conditioning, and stylish. But anyone who’s familiar with Faux Cils and has checked out Singulier knows that the former is the better “everything” mascara. So word of advice, YSL: Just because Singulier is sporting new bristles doesn’t mean she’s a sure thing–or worth a $1.50 more at that.

Look at these celebs and tell me if they don’t look like they’re hoarding Big League Chew in their mouths and cheeks!

[Clockwise: Cindy Crawford, Courtney Love, Hunter Tylo, Kathryn Morris, Lisa Rinna]

The evening’s guest speakers were Peter Foltis, director of Scientific Affairs and Skin Care at L’Oreal, and Dr. Diane Berson, an expert in medical, surgical, and cosmetic dermatology.

A Couple Things I Didn’t Expect

-My sudden aroused hatred for PowerPoint presentations.

-To have seen so many 40 to 60 year-old gingers (fake and real) under one roof.

All jokes aside, I was a bit disappointed with the presentation. I was hoping to learn a few new, innovative skincare tips that I hadn’t heard before, but for any beauty junkie, it was Skincare Maintenance 101 material: 1) Always slather on SPF (best to use sunscreens with the ingredient mexoryl SX since it’s known to be the most photostable out of all other sunfiltering ingredients); 2) Antioxidants (i.e. polyphenols, CoQ10, Vitamins A, B, C, & E) are great ways to protect your skin from oxidation and free radicals; 3) Smoking is a no-no 4) Exfoliate (as you get older, the turn around time for your system’s natural ability to slough off dead skin cells becomes slower); 5) Rejuvenate by using prescription retinoids, cosmeceuticals, or take it a step further with a procedure (i.e. peels, microdermabrasion, IPL (intense pulsed light) treatment, and/or lasers.); 6) And if you want to go even further, injectables like Botox, wrinkle fillers, and volumizers, are non-invasive options.

L’Oreal Innovations

Every major beauty company has specific technology it hopes to bank on and/or patent exclusively. Here are three breakthrough innovations that L’Oreal is paying attention to:

1) Phloretin. Found in the skins of apples, it’s a natural antioxidant that quenches free radicals, protects cellular components, and complements sunscreens.

2) Pro-Xylane. A compound originating from the sugar of the Beechwood tree, it leaves minimal waste (meaning its eco-friendly) and helps synthesize collagen and proteins to go into the epidermis and dermis.

3) LHAs. Stands for lipo hydroxy acids, which are part of the hydroxy acid family. Known as the “the smart molecule,” it preserves cell integrity, has balanced physiological exfoliation (meaning it exfoliates your skin safely and wisely), which in turn, aids in fighting acne and dandruff. LHAs also helps repair fine lines, wrinkles, and pigmentation issues.

The Shadiness Factor

The central issue that kept getting recycled–both by the ladies in the audience and by the speakers–was sun protection. “How high of an SPF should I go?” “What products would you recommend?” “Do I really have to reapply my SPF every couple hours?” These were a few of the many questions  surrounding what seemed to be an “anti-sun/fear the rays campaign.” The speakers encouraged this by telling everyone that whatever you do, wherever you go, you must always slather on some protective cream. Their slideshow presentations repeatedly showed extreme cases of decrepit sun-weathered leathery female bods and obscenely wrinkled faces (of sharpei-like magnitude).

Okay, I get that we definitely need to cover up–especially during the hours when the sun’s rays are at their strongest (10 am-3 pm), but isn’t some sun actually good and vital to our bodies? Hellooo, has anyone thought about the need for Vitamin D? The need for a strong immune system?

The Best Part of the Night: Picking Dr. Foltis’s Brain

When the discussion and the way-too-short Q&A came to a close, the vast majority of gals flocked to the champagne and twisty bread sticks. Only the die-hard, committed skincare freaks like moi scurried over to the experts to get more questions answered. Since the Santa-esque Dr. Foltis was the closer of the two experts, I chose him to be my victim! After biting a few ankles and pulling out some tufts of hair to get to him, I managed to pick his brain and get his opinion on a few things. The following are my questions, his answers:

Q: You guys have been really selling mexoryl SX as the ingredient to have in an SPF. How about other ingredients and formulations, such as Neutrogena’s helioplex?

A: Mexoryl is great. But look, honestly, I don’t care what you put on your face, as long as you put on some kind of sunscreen every day.

Q: Don’t we need some sunlight every day so our bodies can make Vitamin D?

A: Well, sure. I mean, sunlight makes you happy. Going out on a sunny day changes your mood so it’s a good thing. But you don’t need that much at all to get the Vitamin D you need. You can always use supplements, too, because they’re exactly the same. (I don’t know if agree with the doc on this last part. Getting Vitamin D from sunlight vs getting it through supplements has been a controversial issue. I’m going to bet more on what Mama E provides.)

Q: Do you feel that organic/green products are just as effective as those that lean more heavily on science?

A: Actually, I think they can be. We’re [L'Oreal] working on some green products right now, but it’s been difficult getting the right textures. But you must remember: Just because something comes from nature, doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Final Thoughts

-I’ll probably always be a guinea pig to new scientifically and naturally sound skin innovations so I’ll keep an eye out on L’Oreal’s breakthroughs.

-Once I have some extra cash to burn, I’d be open to trying the IPL procedure. How I’d love to zap my sun freckles to oblivion!

-I’ve always been a fan of mexoryl, and the seminar was a good reminder for me to hop on that band wagon again. However, I’m still going to go with my gut and give my skin a few minutes of sun every day on off peak hours–everything in moderation, right?

-I’ll always hate PowerPoint presentations.