ABC
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Last night’s “Bachelor” was full of emotional mountains and valleys as the gang took off to Park City, Utah, into the breathtaking great outdoors.
But the scenic landscape gave way to fuglified cat scratching as Courtney’s manipulative ways to snag Ben began to make eyeballs roll and jealous tempers boil—most notably from epidemiologist Emily. (And let’s just say she got enough angry material for a second gangsta rap to be well underway!)
Check out how things got dirty right quick: Read More »
Posted in tv | Tagged The Bachelor |
Lifetime
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Even though “Project Runway” just finished its ninth season, last night’s spinoff “Project Runway All Stars” revealed it still had a few new challenges up its sleeve: Enter oink couture. Contestants were challenged to create a flamboyant cocktail dress for none other than her Muppet Highness Miss Piggy to help promote her new movie “The Muppets.”
Along with Georgina Chapman and host Angela Lindvall, guest judges Eric Daman and the Muppet Diva herself took the All Stars to task with their creations—and you better believe they took dressing Miss Piggy very seriously. Read More »
Posted in tv | Tagged project runway |
ABC
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“The Bachelor” wasn’t a cake walk this past Monday night. Not only were there scary heights to climb in San Fran but also pancake butts were getting bruised whilst skiing, and there was crying and fainting of North Korea-Kim Jung Il-ian proportions! And the biggest whopper of them all was when a mystery girl showed up at the last minute to try to woo Benjina’s heart at the cocktail party! Hint: She drains blood for a living!
Check out the deathly sequence of events right here: Read More »
Posted in tv | Tagged The Bachelor |
Bravo
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Maybe it was the crystal blue Hawaiian waters, the smell of coconuts amid a flirty breeze, or perhaps it was the cottage cheese-defying ways of Brandi’s bikini-clad bum that made relationships change course on last night’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” Whatever it was, boy, were we surprised!
From Paul and Adrienne’s passionate spark of yummy-time love to Lisa’s embrace of Brandi and her potty mouth, everyone was beginning to put their guard down and nuzzle up to each other during Mauricio’s paradisaical b-day getaway…but not so much with late arrivals Kim and new man Ken.
Once the oddball couple arrived, Mauricio and Kyle wasted no time in unleashing their frustrations on Kim, whose mind was clearly in some dark corner of the pharmacy department at Walgreen’s. Although they were trying to get her to deal with her issues, Kim held onto her “gay mastiff” Ken for cover and dodged their truthiness bullets!
Check out how not to be high on life: Read More »
ABC
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Boring Benji got a hair-raising jolt of excitement on last night’s “Bachelor” when he discovered girl-on-girl hatin’ was already in full effect!
Although he had assumed bringing 18 ladies to his hometown of Sonoma Valley would be a peaceful grape-plucking experience for all, a sexually aggressive set of horse dentures (a.k.a. Blakeley) and an unnerving two-faced narcissist (a.k.a. Courtney) began to unleash their negative energy and taint the rest of the princesses’ dreamy hopes of scoring wifey points with their beloved Prince Ben-ja-boo! Read More »
Posted in tv | Tagged The Bachelor |
Bravo
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Last night’s return of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” continued where the latest drama ended: at Kyle’s marshmallow land white party. Despite all of the hubbub that Taylor and Russell’s epic dis-invite stirred up, our hearts did feel some peace at knowing that Kyle and Mauricio invited Fatburger back to their annual event.
But the party didn’t end there! Days later, the filthy rich gang decided to take off to Hawaii for one last lavish hurrah for Maurcio’s birthday. From there it ended up being Brandi’s Xanax and bikini party, which as a whole involved lots of tipsiness, cleavage, flirting, “truck driver’s mouth,” and a barely-there bikini.
But at long last, Taylor stole the show right at the final moment with her big announcement via Lisa’s Blackberry that she was leaving Russell.
Check out the sequence of events that made this episode a major case of Paradise Lost: Read More »
ABC
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Hair fetishists, lesbians, and Grandma Sheryls everywhere were overjoyed when the season premiere of the “Bachelor” finally arrived last night.
Looking perfectly coiffed and reserved, Ben was introduced to his 25 potential juicy lollipops and discovered that even in the show’s 16th season, there were still a few surprises up the producers and the contestants’ sleeves—namely in the form of a senior citizen, a grand My Little Pony entrance, two “lesbian cream puffs,” and a PhD student who tapped into her inner 50 cent.
But while the novelties piqued our interest (and then made us swallow our barf seconds later), the conventional contestant stereotypes dominated more than all the weaves, spray tans, and teeth whitening systems you could imagine combined!
Check out how Ben-bo recovered post-Ashley and laugh your heinys off at the old and new contestant categories we uncovered: Read More »
Posted in tv | Tagged The Bachelor |
Evans Vestal Ward/BRAVO
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It was a tale of litigation, drug-induced selective memory, and swollen melon heads on last night’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” And in the middle of all of it was hostess with the mostess Kyle and her annual white party. Oooh weee!
While many of Kyle’s unnamed guests were gleefully shimmying about in their Fantasy Island haute couture, the matriarch was having heart palpitations as she prepared to: 1) “disinvite” Tay-Tay and Russell (due to the latter’s habit of threatening to sue everyone for slander); 2) cut off Kim’s unending juvenile tirade against Brandi; and 3) avoid Kim’s new beau Ken, who was essentially unavoidable, considering his head was the size of an unusually large and juicy melon.
Check out how friendships stayed sour and went sour: Read More »
Bravo
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Forget about The Bloods and The Crips—it was Planet H. vs. The Palms on last night’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!”
While Lisa, daughter Pandy, (and strangely enough) Taylor took off to Sin City to celebrate Pandy’s Chippendales bachelorette party courtesy of Planet Hollywood—Palms rival Adrienne decided to invite Camille, D.D.(?), Dena(?!), and Brandi for an-all girls weekend extravaganza…and let’s just say, things got a little steamy on the dance floor with Camille and Brandi! Icky pooh puppies!
Back at home, Kyle was busy preparing for her annual white party but ended up having to play mother to Kim’s familial drama, which was brought on by her decision to move in with her controlling Mr. Bean.
Check out the beans right here: Read More »
TLC
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This year was a bonanza of controversy, meltdowns, and redemption in the ubiquitous and perhaps, at times, most reviled genres in TV: REALITY!
There were reunions and marriages that should’ve never been, drunks and alien punks, intellectually inept headbangers, and even hooker babies for us to gawk, ridicule, and shame!
Before we make your heads explode, check out our hot 20 of 2011: Read More »
